Guava Paste

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Guava Paste
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Information
Full Title: Guava Paste
Author: VXO
Release Date: unknown
File Size: unknown
Duration: unknown
Complexity: unrated
Animutatedness: unrated
Star(s):
Audio Info
Ce soir, je vais boire
Artist: Claude François
Album: Comme d'habitude
Genre: Pop
Language: French


Contents

About

Cast

Notable Props

  • A guava
  • AKTIV - SCHAUM (see Trivia secton!)
  • The Starship Enterprise
  • A Ryko Softgloss XS2 car wash
  • What should, in theory, be Tyler's van (Twilight)
  • Lollicup slushes (Asian slurry)
  • A ham's 'junk box'. This is essentially just a collection of random electronics, used to build other projects... such as radio receivers!
  • A PDQ Laserwash 4000 and Laserwind Docking Dryer
  • An unrideable-looking V-8 motorcycle
  • A door

Transcript

Lyrics

Fake Lyrics Real Lyrics

Sir, squashing my guava
Stop squashing my guava
The rugby kitteh!

Sir, squashing my guava
Stop squashing those guavas

The Tone-Deaf Martians
For the IBM

Toast in cups
Kabakana

A junk receiver say
A vacuum sucker, too late
Blood flows out your heart

Schlump of makeup makes for grimy tea
The Dalek-sama goes "Woe Is Me!"
Asian slurry with some peat on top
The laser puts a hole right through me.

Sir, squashing my guava
Stop squashing my guava
You look like an ape

Sir, squashing my guava
Stop squashing my guava
Don't do the plie

Sand those knockers
Prevent a cleavage fire
A softee raised to shake Estelle
Ain't no fervor to the Rush, shut down
A seat belt's useless to Bella

The Count's no father to Cookie Monster
De donde puerta? You're just pubescent
Wash your spaceship with some Cherry Sheen
Hey Vic, it's Su with a plunger!

  • repeat chorus*

Time to defenestrate!

(Chorus:)
Ce soir, je vais boire
Ce soir, je vais boire
Pour ne plus t'aimer
Ce soir, je dois boire
Ce soir, je dois boire
Pour tout oublier

Tout d'abord, je vais bien m'habiller
Costume Camps, cravate Cardin,
Je visiterai avec méthode
Tous les clubs de St. Germain

Je boirai par ordre alphabétique
De l'Alexandra jusqu'au Whisky
Et je serai mort depuis longtemps
Quand les autres seront endormis

(Repeat Chorus)

Dans un état que je ne décrirai pas
Je sortirai de chez Castel
Et l'on me retrouvera chantant
Assis dans une poubelle,
Quand enfin viendra le petit matin
Quand dans les boîtes il n'y aura plus personne
Moi je serai sous une table chez Régine
Avec Gainsbourg et Burton

(Repeat Chorus)

Ce soir, je vais boire
Pour ne plus t'aimer
Ce soir, je dois boire
Pour tout oublier

Audio Details

Trivia

  • The laser picture and warning sign were stolen from electricstuff.co.uk, which is pure engineering porn of the best form...
  • The scene with Chris Crocker below the PDQ Laserwash 4000 is based on a bizarre theory VXO came up with after seeing him in person at Florida Supercon one summer. VXO believes that if you were to put a bit of Aktiv Schaum on Crocker, the makeup would all melt away and reveal a really scrawny anemic little emo kid. The German phrase Aktiv Schaum, literally "Active Foam", is often used to refer to car wash presoak. This is an alkaline detergent solution that saponifies oils and organic matter deposited on the surface of a car to promote its easy removal.
  • The original .fla file weighs in at over 30 megabytes, thanks to all the photographs used in its production.
  • Guava Paste lacks buses, in contrast to VXO's earlier works. This is only because he could not figure out how to work them into it. Rest assured, the buses will return in future works.
  • Right-click and press play for an easter egg involving Southeast Florida's two largest Native American-run casinos.

External Links

Guava Paste at Blue Neon

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