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Uh oh, Jon's background disappeared
on Newgrounds
on the Animutation Portal
Author: Flashbastard
Release Date: November 14, 2006
File Size: 4.39 MB
Duration: unknown
Complexity: unrated
Animutatedness: unrated
Star(s): Jon Stewart
Audio Info
Artist: Bloodhound Gang
Album: Hooray For Boobies
Genre: Rap/Rock/Comedy
Language: English



Notable Props



My last girlfriend didn't like me, thought she might be
Most likely a dyke, she just didn't excite me
Lefty? Ya, but that was alright
She was hotter than the sun, but she just wasn't that bright
My mistake: She was more flaky than a leper colony
I think a wooden clothespin would have been much better company
Ass like donkey, acting funky, gave her "L" now she's a flunky
So my love for her died quicker than a batch of sea monkeys
Early bird gets the worm, spread your legs or spread the word
So what if I'm not the smartest peanut in the turd?
I'm white which goes with everything, but I can come in any color
And I'm looking for the kind of girl that reminds me of my mother
But it's hard to find a girl with a viper tattooed on her tushy
And how many girls do you know that can play the harmonica with their pussies?
Like 'em easy and hot and sweet, like a Rice Krispy Treat, gee
You know what I really want in a girl? Me.

I need to find a new vagina
Any kinda new vagina
It's hard to rhyme a word like vagina
Calvin Klein? Kinda, North Carolina

Women are like dog doo, hear me through, don't interrupt
It's just the older that they are, the easier they get to pick up
I'd fill the generation gap, clear the cobwebs from her rafters
Old hens would rather put out than be put out to the pasture
No, age just ain't a gauge, I like my girls like my cheese
Preferably for me, fat-free American singles only
I want my next chick anorexic, the winner is the thinner
Won't have to take her skinny ass out to a fancy dinner
Like Sizzler she go ta beef, we'll chew the fat
If I forget to put the seat up, I can put up with her crap
Let her lash out and crack the whip, but not in bed, I don't play rough
No, I can't be tied down with a girl that wants me tied up
Just independent like NOFX, smart like Janeane Garofalo
She'd use big words to make fun of me, so that I would never know
Bestow upon me of her wisdom of the Dewey Decimal System, gee
You know what I really want in a girl? Me.

I need to find a new vagina
Any kinda new vagina
It's hard to rhyme a word like vagina
Kevin Kline? Kinda, South Carolina


Audio Details


  • Flash Bastard started this animation before going in for a routine surgery, that turned out to be not so routine and landed him in ICU for a week. After he was able to breath without a tube in his throat he vowed to finish this animutation as soon as he got back home.
  • This animutation caused some controversy in the Animutation Portal because of its NSFW nature that was GENUINELY NSFW. He was told by a peer in the animutation community that he was a "sick bastard" that deserved to die because of his animutations. Because of this it edged Flash Bastard to release another even WORSE NSFW piece (Fish Funk).
  • If you continue letting the animutation play past the end credits, there is a secret message "STFUHK" above the replay button. This was added AFTER the controversy as Flash Bastard's retaliation to the negative reviews and voting done by a fellow animutator.
  • This animutation won 2 Animucademy Awards for Best NSFW Work and Best English Music.

External Links