Soviet Russia

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In Soviet Russia is a pattern of usually nonsensical jokes about the Russian SFSR, originally devised by Russian comedian Yakov Smirnof, and turned into a stupid Interweb meme by Slashdot nerds.

They follow the format:

 Optionally: In this country, you {verb} {object}.
 In Soviet Russia, {object} {verb} YOU!

Although Smirnoff's jokes made actual sense -- "In America, you can always find a party; in Soviet Russia, the Party can always find you!" -- most modern ones do not, having little or nothing to do with actual life in Soviet Russia.

On the Animutation Mailing List, Soviet Russia jokes enjoy occasional surges of popularity.

Collected Examples

These were collected from the Animutation Mailing List. Many of them are not in the correct form, and most of them are not funny. Deal with it.

  • "In Soviet Russia, Tetris plays YOU!"
  • "In Soviet Russia, clarinet plays YOU!"
  • "In Soviet Russia, cartoons watch YOU!"
  • "In Soviet Russia, the origin of this joke evades YOU! (and I am aware that that's not the proper form, BUT OH WELL)"
  • "Roses are red,
    Violets are blue,
    In Soviet Russia,
    Poem writes YOU!"
  • "In Soviet Russia, the floor rolls on YOU!"
  • "In Soviet Russia, subliminal messages YOU!"
  • "In Soviet Animutation List, the offtopic hits YOU!"
  • "In Soviet Russia, unsubscribes from YOU!" (This one is actually true.)
  • "In Soviet Russia, you do not have Russian font. Russian font have you."
  • "In Soviet United States, spammers sue YOU!"
  • "In Soviet Russia, hobos in their own rooms find YOU!"
  • "In Soviet Russia, nobody listens to techno. Techno listens to YOU!"
    • The title of Andrew Kepple's mashup of the Dr Spin Tetris remix and Eminem's "Without Me"; it is a reference to the part of "Without Me" in which Eminem informs us that nobody listens to techno.
  • "In Soviet Russia - CANADA BLAMES YOU!"
  • "In Soviet Russia, you are not a winner. A WINNER IS YOU!"
    • A reference to the NES game "Pro Wrestling", when those wacky Japanese mixed up the grammatical subject with the predicate nominative whilst translating text on the victory screen.
  • "In Soviet Soviet, Soviet soviets Soviet! ...I got nothin'."
  • "In Soviet Holland, weed smokes YOU!"
  • "In EVERYWHERE, Yakov Smirnoff stopped doing that bit fifteen years ago."

And on Soviet Wiki, that tired old gag has had quite enough of YOU!