Captain Lou Albano's Steady Descent into Madness

Captain Lou Albano's Steady Descent into Madness
screenshot
Information
Author: Neil Cicierega Release Date: 3/26/2002 File Size: 2.64MB Length: 4:16 Complexity: Poiuytic Scale Stars: Captain Lou Albano
Audio Info
Captain Lou's History of Music Artist: Captain Lou Albano Album: The Wrestling Album Genre: Genre Language: English

About

"Captain" Lou Albano presents his own warped take on the origins of rock music, then has a trippy musical fantasy sequence.

Cast

• George
• Captain Lou Albano
• Crowds of natives, Indians, and visitors.
• Lanny Toe Basqueemps Albano
• Lucille Ball
• Masturbating Guy
• Complaining Neighbor
• Colin Mochrie
• Guitarist in a wifebeater
• Guitarist with glasses
• Matthew Lesko
• Wembely Fraggle
• Max the Rabbit
• Captain Kirk
• Santa Redneck with a shotgun
• Michael Richards as Stanley Spudowiski in UHF
• Freaky ad banner guy
• Bill Nye
• Same-faced couple
• Pallet-swapped Osama
• Frodozilla
• Axe guy
• Cinnamon Toast Crunch chef with bloody leg
• Person with illuminated ears
• Arnold Schwarzenegger
• Some guy with wigged out hair
• Albino!
• Chef with his pants down
•  ???
• Sir Elton John
• Some oddly dressed man on CNN
• Mario
• Bonzi
• Guy with AK47
• Flabber from Beetleborgs
• John Linnell dressed in a clown suit
• Some guy with Papa Smurf's head
• Dr. Phil w/ nose ring?
• Hulk Hogan

Lyrics

Real Lyrics

Hey...Captain! You go! Hey! You know George, it all started back before the beginning of time. When the windy wind blew through the trees, and banged against the rocks, creating a beat. Natives, Indians, and Visitors would long for that sound until one day, George, Lanny Toe Basqueemps Albano picked up a big stick and hit a dirt pocket. Got it george? The sound so moved Lanny Toe that he called that sound a beat, a drum. Do you hear me George? A Drum! And it sound like this. Ah...music to my ears. And the natives were chanting, "Toya Toya Mingo Sono" (?) "Toya Toya Mingo Sono" which means "Turn Down Turn Down Me Want Solo". And the neighbors were complaining because of the noise! So right from the beginning, rock had a bad name. The neighbors complained. They moved. The new neighbors complained. It was almost like being on tour, George. Till finally they moved to the beach. And that was the first beach band led by the great Captain Lou Kahuna(?) Albano. So I started everything, George! Some say that I'm not wrapped too tight, Captain Lou, Captain Lou, Captain Lou. But when I'm on the scene, everything's alright. Captain Lou, Captain Lou, Albano I'm the man of a thousand faces. I know we'll be goin' places (Hey!) I'm going to be your guiding light Captain Lou, Captain Lou, Albano Hey don't worry 'cuz it's figured in, Captain Lou, Captain Lou, Captain Lou And I got teeth like Rin Tin Tin Captain Lou, Captain Lou, Albano I'm the man of a thousand faces I know we'll be goin' places (Hey!) I'm going to be your guiding light Captain Lou, Captain Lou, Albano Captain Lou, Captain Lou, Albano I'm the man of a thousand faces. I know we'll be goin' places (Hey!) I'm going to be your guiding light Captain Lou, Captain Lou, Albano Captain Lou, Captain Lou, Albano Captain is happening baby Play this record again brother play it over and over This is the rock and wrestling connection Captain Lou Albano took music and made it what it is today What I did for wrestling, I can do for rock and roll Took it from an A to a Minor C, and sharp (?) Made it what it is Now listen George No George don't eat the microphone George no food I'm the kingdom of rock and roll (?) I'll be addressing 50 tag team champions (?) [more undecipherable ranting] I am impressed, the history of rock and roll with Captain Lou Albano what about you Vince? Well that man can sing as well as eat. I'll tell you what, it didn't sound to me like he was strumming the rubber bands, it sounded like he was chewing on 'em. I'll tell you I was impressed, give me a break, Jesse. Give you a break? Who could produce something like that? Wait a minute I believe I've got it here on paper...Vince McMahon? Who is this? Mona Flambé. Mona Flamboyant produced that? No, but speaking of flamboyant, that takes us to our next artist... And it's gonna be, the heavyweight champion of the world, the group, the World Wrestling Federation All Stars, here it is: Hulk Hogan's Theme coming up. Yeeeccch! Blech!

Trivia

• A little more than halfway through, during George's closeup (rapid flying towards the screen, only lasts 8 frames) if you pause and zoom in on the upper-left corner you can see a picture of someone backlit by moonlight through a window, and the caption "As I've always said, there's nothing sexier than illuminated ears."

External Links

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