French Erotic Film

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French Erotic Film
No Scotsmen were sexually harrassed by Spongebob Squarepants in the making of this Fanimutation
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Information
Author: Andrew Kepple
Release Date: October 8, 2003
File Size: 2.73 MB
Duration: 2:31
Complexity: 3
Animutatedness: Class A and a half
Star(s): Colin Mochrie, Zippy, renniD nezorF
Audio Info
Opblaaskrokodil
Artist: Ome Henk
Album: Ome Henk gaat door het lint
Genre: Apres Skihut
Language: Dutch

Contents

About

"French Erotic Film" is part one of the epic "Colin Mochrie vs Jesus H. Christ" Fanimutation Trilogy. Based on a song by Ome Henk that has nothing to do with French porn, the title alone of this bizarre animation has made it very popular in search engines. Starring: Commander Keen sprites, Monty Python references, Zippy, an old blue Scot called Dill, and more.

Among all of the randomness of this 'mutation, there is a plot: A flying saucer piloted by Commander Keen sprites comes to Earth shooting people and other things with a beam that turns them into crazy Scotsmen. As Zippy and company attempt to persuade Colin to come out of his dressing room and onto the "stage," Colin gets zapped with the Scotsman beam. Alex Chiu assembles a team of old and new fanimutation characters, who summon Jesus H. Christ in an attempt to stop Colin McMochrie.

Cast

Notable Props

Transcript

Lyrics

Here are the real lyrics, fake lyrics, and a translation side by side:

NOTE: The lyrics of the verse beginning with "Neigh, Hicksville Kay Psychologist" do not appear at the bottom of the screen in French Erotic Film, but they do appear on-screen in French Erotic Birthday, the remake of French Erotic Film.

Fake Lyrics Real Lyrics Translation

Oho!
Oho!
Oho! La la la la la, la la la la la!
Oho! La la la la la, la la la la la!


French erotic film
An old blue Scot called Dill
A windy shaky driver
Doesn't look like they'll revive her

French erotic film
An old blue Scot called Dill
A windy shaky driver
Doesn't look like they'll revive her


Oho! La la la la la, la la la la la!
Oho! La la la la la, la la la la la!


I lost his armpit on the soup
of Barbie Barbie Bum! (Summer Nights!)
For I'm a tech of Internet
Two dudes, Is "Friends" still on?
But what if met m'kay
a chained-up thing is all that's stuck?
And if Zippy drives my CD-ROM
don't talk to my old grey foot!
Maar...

French erotic film
An old blue Scot called Dill
A windy shaky driver,
Doesn't look like they'll revive her

French erotic film
An old blue Scot called Dill
A windy shaky driver
Doesn't look like a MacGyver


Oho! La la la la la, la la la la la!
Oh NO! La la la la la, la la la la la!

It filled right up to wearing
For Beano on my diet
Lithium to bite the burger
Ride those snakes for my leg, not!
To break the big title of "Fishy"
and this might make you faint:
Any video leaves at half-past boot,
Dumber than your-
... Huh?

Weet je wat ik wil,
een opblaaskrokodil.
Om in de zee te drijven,
tussen de lekkere wijven.

Weet je wat ik wil,
een opblaaskrokodil.
Om in de zee te drijven,
tussen de lekkere wijven.


Neigh! Hicksville Kay Psychologist!
Hicksville needs dough for a cross-lobe!
And Hicksville Long Isle a boundary
Tried a bit of the suit
OTAGO SOD IT!!!! (Nay!)
Hicksville Kay crouches probe ere 'xcept I like soldiers!
It's filled with giraffes!
ik wil maar één ding!

Weet je wat ik wil,
een opblaaskrokodil.
Om in de zee te drijven,
tussen de lekkere wijven.

Weet je wat ik wil,
een opblaaskrokodil.
Om in de zee te drijven,
tussen de lekkere wijven.

Oho! La la la la la, la la la la la!
Oho! La la la la la, la la la la la!
Oho! La la la la la, la la la la la!
Oho! La la la la la, Opblaaskrokodil!

Oho!
Oho!
Oho! La la la la la, la la la la la!
Oho! La la la la la, la la la la la!

Weet je wat ik wil,
een opblaaskrokodil.
Om in de zee te drijven,
tussen de lekkere wijven.

Weet je wat ik wil,
een opblaaskrokodil.
Om in de zee te drijven,
tussen de lekkere wijven.

Oho! La la la la la, la la la la la!
Oho! La la la la la, la la la la la!

Ik lust geen championnensoep
of bami, bami, bang. (Sambal bij?)
Waarom mot ik op internet
dat duurt me veelste lang,
Wat mot ik met een GSM
dat ding is altijd stuk,
En een zippie drive met CD-rom,
dat doet me ook geen fuck. Maar...

Weet je wat ik wil,
een opblaaskrokodil.
Om in de zee te drijven,
tussen de lekkere wijven.

Weet je wat ik wil,
een opblaaskrokodil.
Om in de zee te drijven,
tussen de lekkere wijven.

Oho! La la la la la, la la la la la!
Oho! La la la la la, la la la la la!

Ik wil geen tatoeëring,
van Pino op me dij,
een triviante bij de buren,
nah nee da´s niks voor mij.
Ik mot geen breedbeeldtelevisie,
´t is maar dat je ´t weet,
En geen video die de afwas doet,
nou maar in je ... (huuut!)Huh?!

Weet je wat ik wil,
een opblaaskrokodil.
Om in de zee te drijven,
tussen de lekkere wijven.

Weet je wat ik wil,
een opblaaskrokodil.
Om in de zee te drijven,
tussen de lekkere wijven.

Nee, ik wil geen zegeltjes,
Ik wil niet over het gras lopen,
En ik wil al helemaal niet
praten met de bestuurder
tijdens de rit,
Ik wil geen gratis probeerset electroontjes,
Ik wil niet naar huis, ik wil maar één ding!

Weet je wat ik wil,
een opblaaskrokodil.
Om in de zee te drijven,
tussen de lekkere wijven.

Weet je wat ik wil,
een opblaaskrokodil.
Om in de zee te drijven,
tussen de lekkere wijven.

Oho! La la la la la, la la la la la!
Oho! La la la la la, la la la la la!
Oho! La la la la la, la la la la la!
Oho! La la la la la, Opblaaskrokodil!

Oho!
Oho!
Oho! La la la la la, la la la la la!
Oho! La la la la la, la la la la la!

I really want to buy,
a blow-up crocodile.
And ride around the ocean,
floating by beautiful women.

I really want to buy,
a blow-up crocodile.
And ride around the ocean,
floating by beautiful women.

Oho! La la la la la, la la la la la!
Oho! La la la la la, la la la la la!

I've always hated mushroom soup
and noodles, they're just wrong. (Hot sauce?)
I don't go on the Internet,
it always takes too long,
I don't like using cell phones
'cos they never work at all,
And I hate Zip drives and CD-ROMs
they're worth about fuck-all. But...

I really want to buy,
a blow-up crocodile.
And ride around the ocean,
floating by beautiful women.

I really want to buy,
a blow-up crocodile.
And ride around the ocean,
floating by beautiful women.

Oho! La la la la la, la la la la la!
Oho! La la la la la, la la la la la!

I never want a tattoo,
of Pino on my thigh,
And trivia with the neighbours?
That can go bye-bye.
I don't want widescreen TV,
I think I'll let it pass,
A VCR that does the dishes?
Stick it up your (HONK!)

I really want to buy,
a blow-up crocodile.
And ride around the ocean
floating by beautiful women

I really want to buy,
a blow-up crocodile.
And ride around the ocean,
floating by beautiful women.

No! I don't want any stamps,
I don't want to march across the field,
And I don't want
to talk to the driver
during the trip!
I don't want a free trial of your electronics,
I don't want to go home, I just want one thing!

I really want to buy,
a blow-up crocodile.
And ride around the ocean,
floating by beautiful women

I really want to buy,
a blow-up crocodile.
And ride around the ocean,
floating by beautiful women.

Oho! La la la la la, la la la la la!
Oho! La la la la la, la la la la la!
Oho! La la la la la, la la la la la!
Oho! La la la la la, la la la la la!

A blow-up crocodile!

Audio Details

The song, Opblaaskrokodil by Ome Henk, apparently has many versions that we have not heard yet. The Ome Henk CD Register lists the original (used in FEF) and the "Winterversie" (Winter Version). This is the "Alternate Version" available for download on Sonic Warfare. However, in Ome Henk's Singles section, there is an Opblaaskrokodil single including a "Super Extra Mix" and a "Roerbakmix." Elsewhere on the page is listed a "Heppie Summer Miks." Also, there happens to be a new 2005 version of the song too! Someone must locate and distribute these versions!

Trivia

  • In Andrew Kepple's movies, he usually puts hidden commentary in them. To get to it, load the Flash movie outside of a frame (e. g. in its own browser window or in a standalone Flash player) and resize the window. The commentary should appear at the bottom.
  • In the scene inside the car, a sign reads: "SEE THIS SIGN! Ace Of Bass are belong to us"
  • Right before Alan Rickman appears, in the last three frames of the Princess Di head scene, the text "WORSHIP THE SLUG" is displayed in the Standard Galactic Alphabet.
  • In the last frame of Alan Rickman, the text "HEY KIDS!" appears over his shoulders.
  • More SGA in the Scottish Alien scene: "SCOTSMANISE"
  • Right after the Scottish Aliens, a frame appears with a picture of Sloth from "The Goonies" and the message "Sloth Sez: YOU LOVE GUNS"
  • Right after the "old gray foot", the number 314 appears in a frame. 314 is Commander Keen's IQ, and thus another reference to the "Commander Keen" games.
  • After the Macmanji fade out, a picture of a demented Pikachu appears.
  • While Frozen Dinner is on the screen, he's interrupted by hammer & sickles as well as text stating that "Commies Rule!"
  • The fish that appears after the sentence "To break the big title of 'Fishy'" is the Dopefish, another reference to Commander Keen. For more info, look at the Dopefish Home Page.
  • Right after the alien ship zaps the Taco Bell dog, the text "THOU SHALT WORSHIP THE SLUG" appears.
  • When the axe robot appears, three lines of text flash by around him: "On my signal, unleash every Zig!", "Somebody set us up the Whoopee Cushion!", and "Ace of Bass are belong to us"
  • During the ending text, the text "HELP I AM TRAPPED IN THIS FANIMUTATION FACTORY -Sluggy" appears.
  • After the credits, right-click on the screen and click "Play" to reveal Andrew Kepple's final words!
  • The strange sound that plays right as the animation ends is the death sound from the Commander Keen games.

External Links


The Colin Mochrie vs. Jesus H. Christ Trilogy
French Erotic Film | Plan 9 From Underpants | Colin Vs Jesus: FINALE! | French Erotic Birthday
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