Seven Deadly Dwarfs
|Seven Deadly Dwarfs|
|on the Animutation Portal|
In this brief "film of practical and moral instruction," numerous survival tips are given to help the viewer get along in this strange world of ours. A man with an unusual beard subjects the viewer to the Wheel of Pain. Finally, the Seven Deadly Dwarfs themselves are assembled for the reader to learn to recognize on sight.
- Menachem Begin
- Colin Mochrie
- R. Lee Ermey
- martial artists
- Eric Idle
- David Lee Roth
- Andrew Kepple
- contestant in World Beard and Mustache championships
- Seven Dwarfs
- The Dwarf Don Sebastián de Morra by Velázquez
- another contestant in World Beard and Mustache championships
- Jay Jay the Jet Plane
- Jesus H. Christ
|Fake Lyrics||Real Lyrics||日本語で|
- The movie contains the following Survival Tips, in order:
- Survival Tip #1: Maintain good eyesight.
- Survival Tip #1.5: Add 1UB to your mana pool.
- Survival Tip #e: "When strangers offer rides or candy, Jiu-Jitsu always comes in handy!" -George Broderick, Jr., shtelmologist
- Survival Tip #2: Learn mathematics, you dumbass.
- Note the irony of this tip coming AFTER Survival Tip #e
- Survival Tip #2: Mister Mumbo likes the Mambo. He wears Hawaiian shirts when he goes to the bars. He is approximately eleven feet tall. He weighs about three metric tons. He is about 3500 metric years old. He has enormous teeth and claws. He doesn't have much of a neck to speak of, but his eyes are large and bulbous. He likes to recite poetry before, during, and after the Mambo. He is chaotic evil. He buys his Hawaiian shirts from the Big & Tall Menswear Outlet. He will sometimes vomit. Hard. Approach him with extreme caution.
- Survival Tip
#5:#3: Watch out for Snakes!!!one
- Survival Tip #4: He's right, you know.
- Survival Tip #6: Listen to Professor Data.
- Survival Tip #8: Machines are smarter than you.
- Survival Tip #151: Observe the proper method of dealing with a bearded individual.
- Survival Tip #151: Life can only be understood backwards, but must be lived forwards. Except it goes the other way around in Australia.
- Survival Tip #151: You must clean the Wheel of Pain.
- Survival Tip #sch55: Know them on sight.
- Unnumbered Survival Tip: be careful with electronics.
- Final Survival Tip: When you are starving, do not think of an Easter Egg as frivolous.
- Survival Tip number infinity plus one: Don't make any graven images.
- The "Wheel of Pain" is actually a depiction of the Seven Deadly Sins by Hieronymus Bosch.