Guava Paste

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Guava Paste
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Information
Full Title: Guava Paste Author: VXO ▾ Release Date: unknown ▾ File Size: unknown Duration: unknown Complexity: unrated Animutatedness: unrated Star(s):
Audio Info
Ce soir, je vais boire Artist: Claude François Album: Comme d'habitude Genre: Pop Language: French ▾

Cast

• Chris Crocker
• Chris Crocker's theoretical underlying emo form (see Trivia section)
• Wikipe-tan as a catgirl
• Colin Mochrie
• Some Photoshop victim with impossible cleavage
• Smokey The Bear
• Madame Foster
• Vic Mignogna
• Kaolla Su (of Love Hina)
• Estelle Swaray
• Bella (Twilight)

Notable Props

• A guava
• AKTIV - SCHAUM (see Trivia secton!)
• The Starship Enterprise
• A Ryko Softgloss XS2 car wash
• What should, in theory, be Tyler's van (Twilight)
• Some guy in a toilet costume. Yes, this exists. *shudder*
• Lollicup slushes (Asian slurry)
• A ham's 'junk box'. This is essentially just a collection of random electronics, used to build other projects... such as radio receivers!
• A PDQ Laserwash 4000 and Laserwind Docking Dryer
• An unrideable looking V-8 motorcycle
• A door

Lyrics

Fake Lyrics

Real Lyrics

Sir, squashing my guava Stop squashing my guava The rugby kitteh! Sir, squashing my guava Stop squashing those guavas The Tone-Deaf Martians For the IBM Toast in cups Kabakana A junk receiver say A vacuum sucker, too late Blood flows out your heart Schlump of makeup makes for grimy tea The Dalek-sama goes "Woe Is Me!" Asian slurry with some peat on top The laser puts a hole right through me. Sir, squashing my guava Stop squashing my guava You look like an ape Sir, squashing my guava Stop squashing my guava Don't do the plie Sand those knockers Prevent a cleavage fire A softee raised to shake Estelle Ain't no fervor to the Rush, shut down A seat belt's useless to Bella The Count's no father to Cookie Monster De donde puerta? You're just pubescent Wash your spaceship with some Cherry Sheen Hey Vic, it's Su with a plunger! repeat chorus* Time to defenestrate!

(Chorus:) Ce soir, je vais boire Ce soir, je vais boire Pour ne plus t'aimer Ce soir, je dois boire Ce soir, je dois boire Pour tout oublier Tout d'abord, je vais bien m'habiller Costume Camps, cravate Cardin, Je visiterai avec méthode Tous les clubs de St. Germain Je boirai par ordre alphabétique De l'Alexandra jusqu'au Whisky Et je serai mort depuis longtemps Quand les autres seront endormis (Repeat Chorus) Dans un état que je ne décrirai pas Je sortirai de chez Castel Et l'on me retrouvera chantant Assis dans une poubelle, Quand enfin viendra le petit matin Quand dans les boîtes il n'y aura plus personne Moi je serai sous une table chez Régine Avec Gainsbourg et Burton (Repeat Chorus) Ce soir, je vais boire Pour ne plus t'aimer Ce soir, je dois boire Pour tout oublier

Trivia

• The laser picture and warning sign were stolen from electricstuff.co.uk, which is pure engineering porn of the best form...
• The scene with Chris Crocker below the PDQ Laserwash 4000 is based on a bizarre theory VXO came up with after seeing him in person at Florida Supercon one summer. VXO believes that if you were to put a bit of Aktiv Schaum on Crocker, the makeup would all melt away and reveal a really scrawny anemic little emo kid. The German phrase Aktiv Schaum, literally "Active Foam", is often used to refer to car wash presoak. This is an alkaline detergent solution that saponifies oils and organic matter deposited on the surface of a car to promote its easy removal.
• The original .fla file weighs in at over 30 megabytes, thanks to all the photographs used in its production.
• Guava Paste lacks buses, in contrast to VXO's earlier works. This is only because he could not figure out how to work them into it. Rest assured, the buses will return in future works.
• Right-click and press play for an easter egg involving Southeast Florida's two largest Native American-run casinos.

External Links

Guava Paste at Blue Neon